From Loranon
Participating Characters
Pan in Trouble
Pan and Minos stared into the face of large black dragon without any of the rest of the party nearby. Strangely, the dragon did not swallow them whole right away.
- Vorlykslyn:
- (growling) Who dares wakes Vorlykslyn the Mad?
- Pan Oros:
- Hi, Vorlykslyn the Mad! I'm Pan Oros and it was an accident!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Have you come to harvest my dragon's blood like those others?
- Pan Oros:
- No, sir!
- Vorlykslyn:
- I don't believe you.
- Pan Oros:
- I absolutely have no intention of harvesting any part of you.
The dragon lands roughly 50 feet away from Pan and Minos, blocking the way to the rest of the party.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Quit flying up there. Come down here and speak to me.
- Pan Oros:
- How about this? You promise not to attack me and I'll come down. I have no intention of attacking you.
- Vorlykslyn:
- (booming) THEY CALL ME THE MAD! Stay where you're at, but come to the ground.
Pan Oros begins to descend.
- Vorlykslyn:
- I thought I told you to stay where you're at!
- Pan Oros:
- (confused) You said to come to the ground.
- Vorlykslyn:
- But I said to stay where you're at but come to the ground. And yet, you've come to the ground!
- Pan Oros:
- Yeah, but…
- Vorlykslyn:
- I don't understand you! What are you!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Have you come for my dragon's blood?
- Pan Oros:
- No, sir!
- Pan Oros:
- No, sir!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Why not? Everyone wants my dragon's blood.
- Pan Oros:
- I didn't know you were in here.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Those others seemed to so enjoy my blood.
- Pan Oros:
- We killed them!
- Vorlykslyn:
- You killed them? Why would you do such a thing?
- Pan Oros:
- They attacked us!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Why did they attack you!?
- Pan Oros:
- I don't know…
- Vorlykslyn:
- (booming) WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME!?
- Pan Oros:
- I'm not!
- Vorlykslyn:
- YES YOU ARE!
- Pan Oros:
- No, I'm doing no such thing!
- Vorlykslyn:
- You had a fly spell going! I saw it! You are a humanoid; you can't fly!
- Pan Oros:
- Well, yes… I did.
- Vorlykslyn:
- You only cast that spell so you could reach me up by the ceiling! You're attacking me!
- Pan Oros:
- Were you up by the ceiling? Didn't you see me just flying around exploring? I had no idea you were here.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Why have you awoken me!?
- Pan Oros:
- Simple curiosity.
Kayrin climbs down the rope and walks towards the dragon.
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- Who are you?
- Vorlykslyn:
- You dare to pincer attack me? Vorlykslyn the Mad? I'll take you both on with my tail tied behind my back!
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- No one is attacking yet! Are you crazy?
- Pan Oros:
- Don't say that! No one has any intention of attacking you at all!
- Vorlykslyn:
- It sure seems to me like you have dragon-slaying armor on! If you're not attacking me, take your armor off!
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- That sure seems like a stupid thing to do in the presence of a large, evil black dragon!
- Vorlykslyn:
- What! Woah, woah, woah, woah!
- Pan Oros:
- And don't forget; he's mad too.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Hey! Don't you call me mad!
- Pan Oros:
- You called you mad!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Don't you call me mad, silly!
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- Can we call you crazy? Does the word 'crazy' sit well with you?
- Vorlykslyn:
- Who in the nine hells are you?
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- I am Kayrin.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Why are you here? Are you attacking me?
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- We're here because we were investigating this area after it opened up after the recent earthquake. Some Cult of Blood has been operating out of this area.
- Vorlykslyn:
- I have no idea what you are talking about. What have you brought me?
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- (pulls out some coins) Here is some copper…
- Vorlykslyn:
- (booming) THAT IS NOT A PEACH PIE!
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- Um… I don't have any peach pie on me.
- Vorlykslyn:
- THAT IS QUITE UNFORTUNATE, KAYRIN! Because peach pie is delicious.
Vindaloo reaches the bottom of the rope.
- Pan Oros:
- Do you mind if we just leave? I have no problem with you.
- Vorlykslyn:
- You can't just leave after you started attacking me!
- Pan Oros:
- I haven't attacked you at all!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Sure you have! You were flying around in my lair!
- Pan Oros:
- I had no idea that this was a dragon's lair!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Sure, you did! (gestures at the empty floors) Look at all this gold!
- Pan Oros:
- What gold?
- Vorlykslyn:
- (booming) HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY HOARD!
- Pan Oros:
- Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was gold down here.
- Vorlykslyn:
- How could you not? It's everywhere!
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- Oh, you are a very smart dragon, aren't you? You've hidden all of your gold, haven't you? That's how we can't see it, but of course, now I understand.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Are you tiny, crunchy, delicious humanoids blind? My gold is everywhere. It fills this entire lair!
- Pan Oros:
- It is impressive, yes.
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- Now, I see it.
- Vorlykslyn:
- How could you not see it before?
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- I'm not sure; there must be a problem with our crazy humanoid eyes.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Kayrin, do you have ketchup?
- Kayrin d'Akatosh:
- No… I don't have ketchup…
- Vorlykslyn:
- I hear that you are tasty with ketchup.
- Vindaloo:
- (joining the conversation) I have ketchup!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Egad! What is that!
- Vindaloo:
- It is I! Vindaloo!
- Vorlykslyn:
- What! There are three of you attacking me now!?
- Vindaloo:
- Yes! And I have brought ketchup!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Please place your ketchup upon Kayrin so that might crunch him up!
Vindaloo attempts to place ketchup upon Kayrin, but the attempt is easily riposted, with ketchup being spread all over Vindaloo.
- Vindaloo:
- Oh, no! I have ketchuped myself!
- Vorlykslyn:
- Are you tasty with ketchup?
- Vindaloo:
- I wouldn't know!
- Pan Oros:
- Try yourself and find out.
- Vindaloo:
- Ugh, that's awful. Kayrin, taste me!
- Pan Oros:
- Sir, do you mind if I start flying again?
- Vorlykslyn:
- That sounds like you're attacking me.
- Pan Oros:
- No, I just want to get out of here. I don't really want to be in this hole.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Hole? This is my lair! THIS IS MY HOARD'S HOME! AND YOU CALL IT A HOLE!?
- Pan Oros:
- No, no no. The hole in the ceiling!
- Vorlykslyn:
- There's no hole in the ceiling! My ceiling is perfect.
- Pan Oros:
- Then where did those people come from to get your blood or whatever?
- Vorlykslyn:
- What are you talking about?
- Pan Oros:
- You asked if I was one of the people sent to bleed you and I said no.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Well, obviously you are, because that's the only people who get in here.
- Pan Oros:
- I don't think so. I'm in here and I absolutely don't want to take any part of you.
- Vorlykslyn:
- (quieter) You… You're in here to take my jewelry.
- Pan Oros:
- No I don't! I don't care about your jewelry!
- Vindaloo:
- I kinda do.
- Vorlykslyn:
- You want to take my delicious, delicious diramantine.
- Pan Oros:
- I have no use for diramantine!
- Vindaloo:
- Not yet!
- Vorlykslyn:
- I can see into your soul!
- Pan Oros:
- If that's the case, then you can see that I have absolutely no use for diramantine!
- Vorlykslyn:
- You don't care about my hoard. I can see it in your eyes. Your eyes don't glisten at all at the sight of all my gold.
- Pan Oros:
- They don't!
- Vorlykslyn:
- But I can see your soul… wants my diramantine!
- Pan Oros:
- I have no use for diramantine!
- Vorlykslyn:
- And I have no use for your peach cobblers! I only like peach pies!
Nalgard reaches the bottom of the rope.
- Pan Oros:
- That's reasonable. Cobblers are more crusty. Do you mind if I go join my friends so that we're not pincering you?
- Vorlykslyn:
- I absolutely do not agree with that
- Pan Oros:
- Do you want me to stay where I am at?
- Vorlykslyn:
- Yes, I do. I don't want you to move at all. I know that you are hiding that pie from me. I can smell it!
- Pan Oros:
- There might be some up there!
- Vorlykslyn:
- (noticing Nalgard) WHO IS THAT! Is that a dwarf!?
- Vorlykslyn:
- So none of you have peach pie?
- Pan Oros:
- No, unfortunately. There might be some upstairs if you come up with us.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Well. Start emptying your pockets.
- Pan Oros:
- I don't have anything in my pockets.
- Vorlykslyn:
- I will accept gold as tribute.
- Pan Oros:
- I don't have any.
- Vorlykslyn:
- You don't? What about those other people?
- Pan Oros:
- I don't know about them. All I know is that I'm broke. I just got reincarnated.
- Vorlykslyn:
- HE HAS NO PEACH PIE! EMPTY YOUR POCKETS!
The party stares at the dragon dumbly for a few moments.
- Vorlykslyn:
- I HAVE ASKED FOR TRIBUTE AND THERE IS NO TRIBUTE ON MY FLOORS! PUT THE GOLD OR THE PEACH PIES ON THE FLOORS!
- Pan Oros:
- We don't have any but we could come back with peach pies.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Or you could just empty your golds right now.
- Pan Oros:
- I don't have any golds.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Why not?
- Pan Oros:
- Because I just got reincarnated and it was really expensive. I used to be a human but then I died. I came back as a half-orc.
- Vorlykslyn:
- What... I don't care about that! I won't gold or peach pie now!
- Pan Oros:
- (Speaking to Minos) How do you think we should get out of here?
- Minos:
- You know, fuck you. You haven't talked to me in months.
- Pan Oros:
- That's not true! We communicate every morning!
- Minos:
- It has seriously been three months since you've asked me anything except for demanding spells. Where the fuck has the progress been on making me pimp? Where's the Fire Opal of Ignatine?
- Pan Oros:
- I don't know where to get it!
- Minos:
- You do to! I saw its location marked on your map! It's labeled right on there as Lair of Aquamaneous!
- Pan Oros:
- Haven't you heard me fighting with the party convincing people to go there?
- Minos:
- Pffft. You haven't talked to me in three months. You haven't paid any attention to me since that burned witch back in Garriton. It's been Garriton since you've talked to me. You've been to Boccorit! You've been to Shroeside! You've been to Dalist and you've been in this fucking mountain forever! I heard you talking earlier about teleporting around, "Minos is just a posession of mine. He doesn't count against the number of creatures I will be able to teleport." Fuck you, man! I'm not going to help you with this.
- Pan Oros:
- You could have piped up at anytime! You just sit there sleeping doing absolutely nothing!
- Minos:
- Oh, fuck! Absolutely nothing? Fuck you, man. Fuck you.
Minos jumps down from his perch upon Pan's shoulder and walks towards the dangling rope.
- Pan Oros:
- (failing to grapple Minos) Get back here!
Pan flys after Minos.
- Vorlykslyn:
- Woah, woah, woah! I didn't say you could move! I said give me tribute!
Pan attempts to move past Vorlykslyn, but is enveloped in a shower of acid as the dragon attacks the party.
| With Pan and Vindaloo suffering from uncontrollable fear, the party retreats while Vorlykslyn continually strafes the party. |
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